An End To A New Beginning

My peace 104 class has ended but strangely enough, I am filled with a sense of endless beginnings.

As much as I appreciate all the new things I have learned in this class, I also know that there is so much more I need to learn. Each answer has unlocked many more questions for me.  

"In expanding the field of knowledge, we but increase the horizon of our ignorance."

It is easy to take for granted the opportunity I have here and to forget how lucky I am. 

I am really grateful I get to learn as much as my heart desires. 

I wish such an education for my mother, my sister and all those I care about. 

I will end this semester with one of my favorite poems,

" The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

   But I have promises to keep,

   Miles to go before I sleep,

   Miles to go before I sleep"

 

   -Robert Frost

Just a Question for Today

Do you think making a difference is an overused cliche?

Am I A Reluctant Feminist?

Truth be told, I have wanted to write this piece for a long time. Each time I sit down to write my thoughts on feminism, a certain uneasiness prevents me. I do not have a name for that feeling and I would prefer to keep it that way. In Victor's words, I will dwell in the confusion and appreciate its complexities rather than resolve  the issue by choosing a side.

Yet I know that I could not leave this till the end. Someday, I have to sit down and write this piece. I have to write this because personally, my thoughts on feminism are an important aspect of my own journey in understanding what peace is. I am surprised this is almost coming out as a confession.

Last night, while me and my room mates were sleeping, our conversation steered around Wellesley. At some point, my friend said, almost casually, that Wellesley has helped her to find who she really is. I told her that was rather deep. That made me think about my own understanding of how this place has shaped me. Yes, it has definitely been a positive experience thus far. I have developed a passion for learning. But at the same time, I cannot claim that Wellesley has taken me to the horizon of self-discovery. As of now, what I credit this place is for helping me to become conscious of many things chief of which is a new found consciousness of what it means to be a woman

Many of my friends thought it strange of me to choose a woman's college. They ask me the reason for my decisions. Depending on the kind of people and the rapport I share with each of them, I have come up with wide variety of reasons. This is not to say that I lied. All of the reasons have some truth in it but in isolation, they are not the complete explanation of why I came here. And that is not because I choose not to reveal how I truly feel, it is simply that I myself do not know for sure what is the, so to speak, "real reason". I am not eve sure whether there is such a thing.

I have been uncomfortable with my own identity as a Wellesley woman. As much as I appreciate all that is good in my friends ( indeed, its quite a long list), an impression has settled in my mind that somehow, this identity of a Wellesley woman carries a tad bit of feminism in it. Feminisn, yes, that was my issue. At this point, I must say that my own understanding of a feminist is minimal to say the least. I have never studied the academics of it.

i like the humor in it.

I try to think why I have a problem associating myself with feminism. Two thoughts come to my mind. The first is that feminism seems to be an issue of past. It made sense that many women colleges were built because they couldn't attend other male exclusive places. Women who wants to work could not work so the feminist, correct me if I wrong, fought for equal rights of women and said they are entitled to the same rights. Yes, that is actually quite appealing to me. However, I don't understand the emphasis on feminism when so many of those issues are irrelevant now? I like creating something new and therefore I like future better than the past. For me to be labeled as a feminist almost seems to imply in my mind that I am stuck in the past. I have not moved on with the fact that such issues are not so relevant anymore. Moreover, focusing on the differences between how male and female are treated seems to create a divide than actually solve something. It seems.

But after sitting in this class, hearing about how women are still discriminated, about different views on feminism in terms of social construction, I feel like, issues that feminist fight for are very real. The world is not really that modern. And these are relevant to all of us. So then, I have to ask myself. Was I wrong about feminism? Why am I uncomfortable with such a label?  I come from a society where even if women are free to a large extent, they are also cultural norms that encourages certain etiquette from  women. My grandmother always wanted a male child and does not hesitate to hide her disappointment when I was born. I thought I was different from that. Has my upbringing affected me this much? Have I also been cultured into thinking that certain spheres are just out of women's reach? Is my reluctance a sign of an orthodoxy in me?

Am I a reluctant feminist?

As uncomfortable as it is to ask such questions, I am happy that at least I am conscious about my own prejudice.

I am starting to think that some things can only be learned, it cannot be taught. On top of studying it, I have to live it.

"You know, People in War Also Fall In Love"

Uncertainty and Confusion are my constant companions.
It is the only life I have known so far. There are few things I am sure about.
But one thing that I do know, almost fully, is that literature is my passion.
I worry at times that it has become my indulgent drug but I cannot help myself
from getting moved by the ways in which people can express themselves. Thats how I realize
that Arundhati Roy's political thoughts has such a strong influence on me. Its because she writes well.

Anyways, unlike my normal entries, I do have a point of mentioning about my passionate affair with literature.
I am always up for listening to new thoughts- and more so to new perspectives on old thoughts-but sometimes, when accuracy of the definitions are over-rated and sophistication is all I can hear and appreciate from a lecture ( or for that matter, a reading), I get disillusioned. See, many insightful researches are conducted to create better awareness about issues. Then you must know that as important are your thoughts, so is the expression you use. What is the point of saying complicated ideas if people cannot understand it? And you know what bothers me most, when I know that someone can use something so much more simpler to convey the same meanings. Its not about how many words you know. Its about how many ways you can use the words you know. Thats when literature comes in. Literature frees us from cloak of complications. It gives us WAYS to express complicated thoughts but in simple language. Unfortunately, I find very few people who has authority over such talents.

The speaker that we heard in a TED video in my peace and justice class, to my luck, just happened to be one of them. As an Iraqi war survivor and a founder of Women for Women International, she was urging the audience to see the war from both the frontline and the backline. War is not only about soldiers fighting. It is also about the less visible but equally important faces of people who survive through the wars. She says this story is not about some unknown refugee, with dirty faces and scared eyes. She gives each woman she mentions an identity. That was graceful.

Look how beautiful she is.

Conflict is not only on the battle line. She is challenging our own attitude of "casually treating the casualties of war". Such million people were killed, Oh how interesting. She wants us to look beyond the statistics and look at war from, permit me to use this word once more, humane way.

She asks us beautiful questions. Do you know, people in war also fall in love? That kisd go to school, adults go to work, there are dancing, there are marriages, divorces and life goes on. She talks about a women who in four years of war, opened her music school so that learning continues.I find it provoking. Indeed, life goes on. Those who live must live when they are alive. For them, the living is difficult. They can die from inside. That is the worst- when you die by living. Still, we endure.

And now the important question is who keeps this living going? The Women. Yes. Then why are women not included in the table that matters- that is the negotiating table of peace? When the lives of women are affected so irreparably, dont they deserve a voice? Dont they deserve a seat on the table?Ask yourself.

Rumi

At the end, she leaves us with words of a 13th century Sufi poet Rumi,

" Out beyond the worlds of right doing and wrong doings,
   There is a field.
   I will meet you there.
 
  When the soul lies down in that grass,
  The world is too full to talk about.
  Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other"
   No longer makes any sense."

Here is the link to the talk. http://www.ted.com/talks/zainab_salbi.html

I dedicate this page to TED- for giving wings to ideas worth listening to.

Liberia's Civil War

I am fond of people who have purposes in their life- people who know why they are doing what they are doing. I like them because most of the time, their conviction stands out. They perform better because they believe in the work they do. And that inspires me. The conviction that leads them towards their goals. It does not necessarily have to be something big. In my case, it is mostly individuals who are my inspirations.For example, when my room-mate sits down and creates her art, I see passion in her.I see that this is something that gives her satisfaction. I like feeling inspired. Its like you are temporarily on wings, flapping as hard as you can.

For quite some time, we have been discussing about woman's role in peace-making and peace-building processes. It is a coincidence that in my politics class, we ended up watching a documentary on the role of women peace activists in Liberia's civil war. Just to give you a brief summary, the documentary presented Liberia as a country in chaos. The then President Mr. Taylor and a rebellious faction called LURD fought for power. As each sides gets more violent, the situation erupted into a civil war. Many common people were forced to abandon their home and displaced to slums and roadsides. In this process, the soldiers from both sides took advantage to their greed and inflicted harrassment on women. At this point, the peace activists- whose name has already escaped me but whose face and voice I will not forget- realizes that something must be done to stop the situation. She calls her church to action and cooperates with muslim women. Despite their religious differences, both sides wisely agrees that a bullet does not discriminate on religion. When a woman is killed, they do not see whether she is Christian or Muslim. She was given support my other women of Liberia who decided to play a more active role. They protested on the roads and asks for a peace agreement between the two factions. By bearing the scorching heat and giving up their comforts, they stay on throadsand demands the government to intervene.

Their patience is rewarded when both sides finally decides to form a peace agreement. The peace talks was to be conducted at an African peace summit. The women sends their delegates to make sure that work was done. They sits outside the main buildings and continues to watch over the whole process. Finally, the summit comes to a conclusion and ousts Taylor. A transitional government is put into place. They go back to Liberia and takes part in the political process, campaigns for a better democracy and the documentary ends with a new female president of Liberia thanking the women peace organization.

This is a rather lame summary. However, the documentary reinforces the concept that peace is a process. The women peace activists continues their action for years and years because for them, peace was not merely negative peace, it was also about creating a new environment where democracy can thrive. Moreover, seeing other women work with so much conviction inspired me. When one woman supports another woman, it empowers both of them. By sticking together when it mattered, these women were able to create remarkable changes in their country.

It was a long journey. The odds loomed insurmountable. The easiest option was to give up. In the beginning of the documentary, I asked myself what could these women really do? But when people have purpose and they believe in what they do, the odds can be overcomed. It was a good lesson to myself as well.

" A world that is good for women is good for everyone "